Well, well, well, folks! Gather ’round for the latest political rodeo down in JP. You won’t believe the twists and turns in this Derrick Shepherd debacle!
So, get this, a judge stepped up like the referee in a heavyweight match and declared, “Hold your horses, Shepherd!” Derrick Shepherd, the Jefferson Parish School Board member, got disqualified from the Jefferson Parish Council race faster than a Kardashian marriage! Why, you ask? Oh, just a little mix-up about where he lives. Turns out, somebody’s claiming it’s up in Mississippi, not Marrero. That’s right, folks, M-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-humpback-humpback-i.
And that ain’t even the best part! Later that same day, the same judge – talk about a busy schedule – said, “Byron Lee, you’re good to go!” Looks like incumbent Council member Byron Lee did his residency homework right, ’cause he’s the last man standing in this political rodeo.
But wait, there’s more! The 3rd District race has been a rollercoaster of surprises. One moment, Larry Collins is in the ring, and the next, bam, disqualified for some tax troubles. It’s like sno-ball-gate all over again!
And if you thought that was the punchline, hold on… Shepherd’s got an explanation for his many addresses. He’s like, “Listen, if I’m at another address, I got lucky or I got invited!” Smooth, Shepherd, smooth! But hey, let’s not forget about the Mississippi house he bought with that VA loan. Apparently, that house was supposed to be his main squeeze, but Shepherd’s playing hard to get, saying he never actually moved in. “It’s crazy out here, folks. It’s simple! “I live here when I’m on the school board, I live here when I get lucky, and I live here if I need a VA loan. It’s called… ‘Residential Roulette’! Oh, it’s Tuesday? Time to live at the VA loan address! ‘Left foot in the district, right foot in Mississippi, shuffle shuffle, let’s make a deal!’ Man, I’m just waiting for someone to bust out a passport for their daily commute. ‘Oh, gotta cross state lines for work, ya know how it is!’ It’s like they’re living a double life, and the only consistency is their inconsistency!”
Meanwhile, the rest of us regular folks are out here tryna save up like it’s the last level of a video game. Man, somebody needs to tell these guys, ‘You can’t just cash in on every cheat code, this ain’t no video game – it’s the real world!'”
Oh, and don’t even get me started on his car collection! He’s got more vehicles than a used car lot, and they’re spread out like a game of political “Where’s Waldo?” Apparently, some are in Texas, some in Mississippi, and there’s even a casino-winning Ford pickup truck thrown in there! It’s like Shepherd’s car keys have a frequent flyer program!
So, there you have it, folks. The tale of Derrick Shepherd and his #reallifeproblems. Will he appeal his way back into the race? Will he end up in Mississippi, Texas, or Marrero? SMH. Stay tuned for the next episode of “Keepin’ Up with the Residency Woes and Political Shows of Derrick Shepard”
